whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
