Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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