in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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