I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Panties = found
Randomize
