Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
