I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
