He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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