Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
