I hate your face
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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