we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
