Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
