He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He called his prostate his "boner button".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
