My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize