My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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