discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
