Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
