Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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