Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize