you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
