My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
