if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
