I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize