Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
