Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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