I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
