Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
