No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
COCAINE IS GR8
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
