It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
