Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
