It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i drank out of a bidet.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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