is your mom at the bar?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
