I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
