Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
