New low: just hacked my moms facebook
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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