It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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