Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize