walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
