Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i dont even know how to be here
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
