boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
