oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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