you have to choose: penises or morals?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
