the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
