he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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