yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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