It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize