OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
