I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
