end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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