yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
