We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
