Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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