Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
