only if we run a train.
done.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
