I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
