YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
