Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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