Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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