We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
