have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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