It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
