her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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