yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
