I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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