wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
