I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
