I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize